Lost wedding rings

I'm in my third marriage. This one looks like lasting despite the stress of having two step-kids I have to live with. To give him his due, Andrew is turning out ok. And to give my wife her due, despite the conflicts that arise between me and Morgan, and despite the conflicts my wife feels regarding my approach to Morgan, we've always been able to find a compromise we could live with. I can't do anything with Morgan and I've reached the point where I won't try; anything I do makes things worse.

My first marriage came to an end on Sunday, August 16th 1987. Since I wasn't the one who brought it to an end it took a little while after that date to accept the end. I wore the wedding ring as a desperate talisman against the truth.

My second marriage came to an end on Tuesday, March 7th 1995. Again I wasn't the one who took the steps to actively terminate the relationship but in contrast to that first separation the second came as a blessed relief. I didn't wear the wedding ring from that day forward.

Sometime in December 1987 I went to a party. Nope, the story doesn't have that kind of an ending (more's the pity :-) ). In those days I wasn't much of a drinker; three beers and I was unsteady, four and I was, for all practical purposes, out of it. I had at least five beers that night! My friends decided it was time I was sequestered away from further temptation and preferably horizontal to sleep it off. Which I did. When I awoke the next morning feeling somewhat sick and sorry for myself the wedding ring was gone. To this day I have no memory of losing the ring and no idea where it ended up.

The second wedding ring, a rather nice white gold affair with minimal decoration, went to charity. I can't remember which charity but I hope they got a few bucks out of it. It wasn't doing me any good!

The third wedding ring? Ah, there's the rub. Those few of you who've met me might have noticed that I not only don't wear a wedding ring; I don't even have the mark of having worn one. I did have a wedding ring though. About a year and a half ago I was watching late night TV and idly playing with the ring. It was perhaps a trifle too large so it slipped off my finger easily and I'd gotten into the habit of taking it off and playing with it. If you've ever worn a ring you know that they can sometimes get a little uncomfortable; a feeling of something stuck to your finger; just moving it around can make it feel better.

So there I was, watching TV, and playing with my wedding ring. And suddenly it went flying out of my fingers, up in the air, and came down nearby. We were remodelling the apartment at the time and I couldn't find it. We searched the apartment high and low and to this day we've never found that wedding ring. It was here; now it's not. As we carted out the rubbish from the remodel we sifted it carefully; we checked all the furniture but it's never been found.

But we're still married. That's the important thing!