I never expected to be eating here

I missed posting last night. I do that sometimes. Sometimes it's because I can't think of something worth writing about (doesn't happen often but it does happen), mostly it's because I'm not near a computer on which I can write or post.

Last night I missed because I was driving to Flagstaff. Morgan had, for reasons best known to her, done a runner, skipped school and ended up there. We can be glad that she couldn't think of anywhere else to 'escape' to; her elder sister lives there.

We took off about 5 PM. It's about 2 hours if you drive like a suicidal maniac; I prefer to take 3 hours. It's also a fiction that it's 2 hours even for suicidal maniacs if you start out from Scottsdale at 5 PM. You have to allow for peak hour commuter traffic. By 6:30 we'd reached Black Canyon City, which I'm guessing is about 40 miles out. My wife was on the phone almost all of the time we'd been driving and by the time we reached there she had been convinced we should turn around; Morgan would be home tomorrow no worries!

So we drove off Interstate 17 into Black Canyon City. We were feeling a trifle hungry and we'd seen the sign to 'Bylers Amish Restaurant'. We were both curious about the cuisine so there we went. Nothing all that special. I didn't see a single dish that I hadn't seen elsewhere but I have to say, the portions were enormous, the prices were low, and it was good food. If you're ever driving through Black Canyon City on I-17 and you're hungry drop by, you won't be disappointed. The staff are also friendly and I could see she was dying to ask about my accent but she was too polite. I told her I was an Australian and she gave me a free slice of apple pie. Can't say no to that even if it did have cinammon in it! :-)

After dinner we moseyed back to Phoenix via the cemetery. Still an hour to sunset and we're both cemetery fans so it was a no-brainer. Lots of jack rabbits and quail. I kept making jokes about herding our dinner into a corner of the cemetery and then the buggers flew off. We learn something new every day; I've seen quail running but I never knew they could fly! I wasn't quite sure if this was rattlesnake territory and believe me, Australians learn very early in life if they're walking through the countryside to be careful of snakes. My wife laughed at my exaggerated caution when stepping over logs. I'm 51 years old. I reckon caution with regard to snakes got me this far!

So we got back to Phoenix about 8 PM and I busied myself adding a new RAID array to the computer. About 9 PM the phone rang. Morgan and Shelby had had a blazing row and Morgan was doing her usual kicking screaming swearing routine. She knows more swear words than I do and she's certainly less reticent about using them than I am! It's always cowed adults in the past so why shouldn't she continue using that technique? It even worked on me once! Once!

I put my shoes back on, put the suitcase we'd packed 4 hours previously back in the car, started the engine and waited. Out comes my wife, mobile phone stuck to her ear and off we set! The mobile phone was just about out of charge when we reached Anthem; we detoured to the local Walmart to buy a car charger.

We got to Flagstaff at midnight. Oh, did I mention that Morgan had two homeless 17 year old boys with her? Once at Flagstaff we quickly found her holed up in a cheap motel. The room didn't smell of drugs or booze and the fact that Morgan was screaming obscenities didn't mean much; that's her normal modus operandi. So we checked ourselves in to a room at the same motel, after getting her car keys, her debit card and her spare cash. As an aside, since when do 17 year old girls still in high school get debit cards?

We got to bed about 2 AM. Not all that late for me but then again, I usually nap in the early evening.

I'm going to gloss over some of what followed. Too many opinions; too much bile, too much anger. We ended up, much against my best judgement, letting Morgan drive back to Phoenix with the two boys while my wife and I were leading the way. I refused to be a passenger. I told my wife that if she insisted on driving I'd take a bus back to Phoenix. If Morgan did another runner I sure as hell wasn't going to put my life at risk chasing her. I would drive as fast as I felt I could given the conditions. If my wife was driving who knew what she'd do? My wife, after a moment, admitted the wisdom of what I'd said!

Thus we started the drive back. I'll be the first to admit that I drive somewhat timidly. 33 years behind the wheel will do that to you. We're driving a ton of metal that can kill. Morgan, at first, wanted to push the envelope. Smartarse kid tried to overtake me a couple of times. A couple of mobile to mobile phone calls put a stop to that. Morgan was now in mitigation mode. She was ready to lie and act contrite to reduce her punishment.

And it worked! Dad (not me) is a pushover. All Morgan has to do is shout at the top of her lungs and dig her heels in and that's it... game and match. We got back to Phoenix about 3:15 PM and I went in to the office (I have a boatload of stuff to finalise before I go to Australia next week). I already knew, before I drove to the office, that they'd cave in. When I came home about 8 PM it was all over including the shouting. Morgan, having done a runner, is not grounded.

Next month she'll do it again. And her parents will wonder what they've done wrong, wring their hands and be stumped for answers.

And next month, when I return from Australia, I'll stand impotently at the side not at all surprised by the outcome and unable to persuade anyone that caving in to shouting, tantrums and swear words doesn't work.

Well, she's her mum's psycopath, not mine!