Two kinds of Americans

You'd imagine that for a native English speaker moving from one English speaking country to another English speaking country it would be relatively easy. And for the most part it has been so. The problem is that the English I speak isn't the same English that is spoken here and neither dialect is the English spoken in England, let alone in India, New Zealand,Canada or South Africa.

I buy my smokes at the local Stop'n'Go petrol station. Yeah, I'm being deliberately difficult here. I call it a petrol station; they call it a gas station. Indeed the real reason I continue to call it a petrol station is sheer stubborness. So anyway, I went into the local gas station today and asked for my usual; a carton of Basic Ultra Light 100's. He reached up and got a pack. No, said I, a carton! He shoves the pack at me. No. I want a carton! Then I gesture, rather in the fashion of someone indicating the capture of a 10 inch trout. He continues with the pack and starts to ring it up. No mate, said I, I want a carton! A dim light rose. Oh, he said, you mean a carton!

Unfortunately this is written English, not spoken English, which makes it difficult to convey the subtle differences between the way I 'think' I say the word carton, the way I hear myself saying the word and the way he said it. Remember that, like most of the Western world under the age of 51, I grew up with US TV programs so I'm completely accustomed to hearing the 'American' accent. Of course what we know as the 'American' accent is only a small part of the range. Nonetheless, (and I'm hypothesising here) the locals don't get to hear very much English as she is spoke outside of the USA. They might have stumbled across the odd BBC program but as for Australian? Nope unless you count Paul Hogan or Steve Irwin. I'm closer to Paul Hogan than Steve Irwin.

I've lost count of the number of times a local has asked me if I'm British. I always respond; 'no mate, I'm from about as far from there as you can get and still be on the same planet. I'm an Australian'. At which point they always light up. I've found there are two kinds of Americans. Those who've been to Australia and those who want to go to Australia .

All of which reminds me of July 1986, my second visit to the USA. I was attending Hewlett Packard training in Spokane, Washington State and staying in a hotel at Post Falls Idaho (about 40 Km's away). I had need of some product or another (possibly a razor though I don't remember anymore) and visited the local supermarket. Whatever it was I was looking for I couldn't find it so I asked one of the young ladies in uniform. It was an eye opening experience. I could understand what she said perfectly but she couldn't understand a word I said. We were both speaking the same language, using the same words. The only difference was that I'd grown up hearing the 'American' accent; she hadn't grown up hearing the 'Australian' accent.