Two ounces of orange juice

can, if applied properly, make the most amazing mess.

My flight from Tokyo back to Los Angeles seemed to be passing well. It's about 10 hours but to a veteran of the LA to Singapore run that's a doddle. Nonetheless, given that it's in 747 economy seating one does whatever one can to sleep. The extra half bottle of wine I managed to pocket when the flight attendant wasn't watching did the trick and I slept from the end of dinner until the start of breakfast. I fancy it was probably about 6 hours, no mean feat.

Awakened I was asked my preference for brekky. Omelet or Japanese style fried noodles. Since it's impossible to serve an edible omelet if it was prepared three months ago and frozen against the day I chose the noodles. They weren't a lot better. Then the standard litany of questions; juice? Coffee? I chose both and was handed the orange juice first. Since that was my first liquid since the wine some hours earlier I was thirsty and drank most of it. Then she handed me the coffee and, whilst putting it down I managed to upset the orange juice.

Can you imagine what it's like to put your shoes back on and realise there's orange juice in there? The meal pack contains a single paper napkin. Given the millions of airline passengers each year I quite understand the economics of providing just the one per passenger but it was nonetheless galling to try and soak up the entire mess with one small napkin.