My grandfathers toenails

were gnarly, quite yellow and totally repulsive to a kid.

You understand that I don't imagine my grandfathers toenails were particularly unique. Yep, they were his; of progenitor genetic material; but as samples of the toenails of men in their 60's they were hardly unique.

You can imagine then my horror at noticing tonight that my toenails have become gnarly and somewhat yellow. I can't imagine where the yellow comes from. That yellowing of my right forefinger and middle finger is quite understandable; the result of 43 years of smoking. But whence the yellow of a toenail that has never been closer than 5 feet and 2 inches to a ciggy? I'm allowing 7 inches as the distance between my mouth and the top of my head. That'd be pretty close.

I trim the buggers; I shower daily; I scrub my feet and yet the toenails are yellowing. Methinks this must be one of those ageing things somewhat akin to wrinkles. How strange then, that there are no ads or spam advising one on how to reverse the yellowing of toenails!